Serendipity. Akhir-akhir ini Anya sering sekali mendengar istilah itu digaungkan di mana-mana; judul novel, twitter, blog, artikel, tumblr. Many people think that word is somehow romantic. Finding something good without actually looking. An unexpected beautiful meeting.
Seperti sebuah pertemuan yang tidak direncanakan.. How romantic.
Bah.
Menurut Anya, si hopeless romantic yang ujung-ujungnya cuma hopeless ini, the word 'Serendipity' is overrated. Terlalu diagung-agungkan. Alasannya jelas. Karena menurutnya:
Pertama, kita nyaris setiap hari bertemu orang baru di dalam hidup kita, dan berani taruhan, lebih dari 80% tidak ada yang direncanakan. Most of meetings are unexpected. Emangnya kita bangun tidur berencana gitu buat ketemu mamang sate di simpang jalan? Atau dengan sengaja punya plan untuk ketemu sama temen SMP di salah satu booth di mall? Kecuali reunian, ngedate, meeting sesungguhnya alias rapat, all meetings count as 'unexpected'.
Jadi apanya yang romantis sih?
Dua, serendipity is a word that gives a false hope to hopeless people who haven't meet 'the one'. That someday, they will unexpectedly meet the love of their life beautifully. Ini yang menurut dia paling ngga bener. Sama ngga benernya dengan fairy tales ala disney princess bahwa suatu saat that prince charming would actually show up. Well, sejujurnya, dia sendiri adalah korban. All her life, she always wonder on how she's gonna meet that 'person'. Itu juga alasan dulu ia sering sekali mengikuti feeds Instagram '@thewaywemet; because she believes on that 'special meeting'. Tapi sekarang, ia yakin bahwa hanya sebagian kecil orang di dunia ini bakalan mengalami those kind of cute-meets. Sisanya...ya standar. Ketemu dan menikah karna udah waktunya, dikenalin temen, dijodohin lah, atau yang lagi ngetrend..ketemu via dating apps.
Well, she believes she bears no such lucks.
Tiga, ini alasan yang sebenarnya Anya tambah-tambahin. Bahwa ada 'pity' dalam Serendipity. And she just doesnt like the word. 
Intinya, dia merasa, Serendipity itu ngga seindah kedengarannya.

Until she met Satrio.

Pertemuan pertama dan keduanya dengan Satrio adalah sesuatu yang di luar perencanaan. Tidak ada dalam planning hidupnya..saat ini. But they meet anyway. Not once, but twice. And both of them are unexpected as ever. At least for her.

Dan tau, apa hal paling menyebalkan dari itu semua? The fact that now she wants more. It's been happening twice, siapa tau dewi keberuntungan berbaik hati padanya dan memberi mereka pertemuan ketiga, kan?

Anya menggeleng-gelengkan kepalanya. Hush. Apa-apaan sih.

"Haloo. Ini kepencet apa gimana ya, Nya?" Suara di seberang telepon membuyarkan pikirannya.

 Oh no.
No way.
What have I done?? 

Anya mengernyitkan dahinya. Tertegun tak percaya melihat layar tabnya yang menampilkan whatssap call dengan wajah dan nama Satrio terpampang di depan matanya.

Gue abis ngapain???? Paniknya

"Halooooo...aku matiin ya?"

"Eh. Sat. Halo. Sorry-sorry. Tadi kepencet."

"Oh. Udah kuduga. Padahal aku seneng banget akhirnya kamu nelponin aku juga."

"Hahaha... Maunya. Tunggu...ini gimana kok bisa-bisanya ada kontak kamu sih di tab aku?"

"Hahaha oke, aku ngaku..abang-abang counter tempat kamu ganti tempered glass itu Nya.. He's a friend of mine. Trus pas dia pasang-pasang itu aku suruh diem-diem save-in nomer aku ke tab kamu hahaha."

Buset.
Speechless gueh.....Batin Anya

"Nya? Kamu ga marah kan ya? Maaf ya jadinya lancang. I was just trying on my luck. Siapa tau suatu saat kamu liat trus kepikiran untuk ngajak ketemu gitu."

"Ngg..."

"Kok diem Nya?"

"Gimana ya... Aku..speechless aja bisa-bisanya kamu kepikiran buat kayak gitu."

Kalo aja Satrio tau betapa kagetnya Anya waktu ujug-ujug di kontak whatssap tab nya tertera nama "Tri Satrio Arsitek". Dari 6 kontak whatssapnya. Karena kontak whatssap tabnya itu memang khusus hanya berisikan keluarganya saja.

Ketambahan satu orang tentu saja terlihat jelas di matanya.

" I just dont know whether I'll meet you again or not Nya."

"Dan kenapa gitu kita harus ketemu banget?"

"Hahaha gini Nya. Aku ngga lagi memuji atau ngomong manis atau yaa ngegombalin kamu ya. I'm just trying to be honest. Aku suka mengamati orang-orang. Dan dengan mengamati, aku jadi tau mana yang ke depannya aku bakal senangi dan mana yang nggak."

"Lalu?"

"Sebutlah kamu termasuk orang yang menarik buat aku. Menurut aku, menarik itu menyenangkan. Jadi ya, begitu."

Gila ni manusia, dalam hati Anya.
Sadar ga sih ngomong kayak gitu bisa bikin hati cewe normal kebat-kebit ngga karuan? Untung gue ngga baperan, batinnya lagi.

"Oke..... Menurut aku itu creepy, Sat."

"Tri, please."

"Iya whatever. Yaudahlah ya, sori tadi kepencet."

"Loh, ga jadi nongkrong ngopi di manaa gitu?"

"Loh, ada ya aku ngajakin?"

"Nggak ada sih hahaha."

Ketawanya, plis dikontrol, nggak usah ngebass betul... batin Anya.

"Well, kalo dibalik, kalo aku yang ajak, gimana? Tonight?"

Anya mengeluarkan 'hmmm' panjang sebelum akhirnya menjawab, "Okay, tonight."

"Great. Ketemu atau aku jemput?"

"Hmmmmmmmm......jemput? Deket kan ya?"

"Okay."

"Okay."
Hening sesaat, hampir saja Anya mematikan panggilannya.

"Eh.. Alamat lengkap kamu, Nya?"

"Oh...hahaha. Tadinya kukira kamu tau. Siapa tau sekalian kamu minta temen kamu itu buat ngotak-atik tab aku buat nyari alamat akuu gituuu...." Ejek Anya.

"Nya. THAT, would be creepy. Ya aku ngga gitulah hahah."

"Aku whatssap aja ya. Nanti lewat nomer whatssap aku satunya lagi aja. Nomer ini jarang kubuka."

"Oke."

"Oke."

Anya mematikan whatssap callnya. 09 menit 35 detik.

Lama ia terdiam, seolah tak percaya dengan apa yang terjadi barusan. Ia tertawa, pipinya tanpa sadar merona.
Ia memasukkan tabnya ke tas, mengemaskan barang-barangnya, bersiap keluar kelas untuk pulang.
Ia berjalan di lorong dengan dada berdegup agak terburu hinnga tak sengaja hampir menabrak seorang wanita yang membawa setumpuk berkas di dalam sebuah map.

"Eh. Maaf." Ia menundukkan wajahnya tanda tak enak, tak sengaja melihat map yang bercorak tulisan-tulisan semacam doodles. Ia memicingkan matanya, tersenyum sendiri saat membaca salah satu kata di situ.

Serendipity.

 Ah, that overrated word. Still overrated tho. Pikirnya.

Ia kemudian mengetik sesuatu di layar handphonenya,

"Rumahku di jalan Samudra nomer 33 ya. Atap cokelat, lantai teras warna kuning tua. Ada lampu tamannya. I expect to see you by 7 ;)"

Dua centang biru.

 "Ay ay captain ('o')7."

Anya berjalan ke parkiran. Senyum dikulum. Hatinya bermonolog.

Empat, batinnya
Serendipity is overrated because, well.. Why expect the unexpected? Kalau memang bisa direncanakan, kenapa sih harus mengharapkan yang tidak direncanakan? Supaya kesannya romantis gitu, tau-tau ketemu karena takdir?

Percakapannya dengan Satrio via whatssap tadi terulang kembali di kepalanya bak film pendek.

 ...And talking about romantic, well, itu cuma masalah cara. Ngga musti kan ya selalu bergantung rencana semesta?

Senyumnya melebar sembari ia berkendara pulang.
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Disclaimer: I might not the first one to write about this topic, but I need to get them out of my chest, so here it is.

When I was seventeen (or any age during highschool), I used to think that being 20 means glory. A golden period of someone's life that I really waited for. I though it would be the time of my life, when I would be able to go out and do everything, achieve everything, and also be able to make decision freely about everything.

Now I am 23-ish, 2 year more into my quarter life something. I think back about those thoughts, and ask myself the questions.

Can I go out and do everything? Yes, but until 10 p.m. only or my Dad will flood my inbox with "Dek, pulang. Dek, udah jam berapa nih?" etc. I still haven't be able to go on solo trip to Kuching (SO VERY SAD) even when I already prepared for the trip like a month before (including the bus, hotels, cullinary plan and all). So, nothing like freedom especially if you are the only daughter your parents have. You will be restricted still.

 Do I achieve everything? Well I did finish my school and get 'S.Ked' title, but I haven't officially finished my study (because lol, doctors). I haven't reached my dream whatsoever to study abroad. I haven't started any business, haven't made any money (well I made some by being translator but it's still a part time job), and sometime I feel like I am stuck between kos-kosan bed --- hospital --- kos-kosan bed (that's koass life, will tell ya later). I am nothing close to my dream, let alone get married and have kids while people around me are planning to have second child (MY EX HAS 2 CHILDREN ALREADY MY LORD). So yeah, this is reality and it hits me hard at times.

 Can I make decision freely about everything? This, somehow, is the only truest thing that finally come true. YES, I am free to make (almost) any decision that I need to keep my life going. But, there is always a 'but', the 'free decision' also comes with a bag full of responsibility tagging along the decision. And I am bad with making one. If you made one, you have to also be ready with the consequences, and most time, we are not ready for them.

So, yes, being 20 something is not as glory as I thought it was. Being 20 something means you are getting into several time of losing and finding your true self. Of getting know too much, and also so little of everything that going around the world. It also means standing in the bridge of uncertainty, to enjoy life the most so there won't be any regret or to get everything right seriously so we will hold the future tightly. For example, I sometimes feel like I deserve to just lay in bed during weekend, but when weekdays come I always feel like I am wasting my time and it actually haunts me a lot. The cycle repeats on and on, which makes me think, why do I feel this way?

Then I looked back to my old diaries where I wrote about all the goals and plans to have the best and brightest future, the ones I should pursue in this very age. Now I get why I, and maybe most people my age, feel like 20 something becomes a heavy burden on a shoulder. I sort it into some points, so here they are:


  • It is because we already have expectations that 20 something is the age of having it all. While in the fact, well, you may and also may not have it all. Yes, maybe some people already get a firm and sustainable career, maybe some people already have a fairy tale marriage whatsoever, maybe some people already meet their goals to travel around the world. BUT, that does not mean if you are not achieving those, it means you are a pathetic losers. Well we, people, have our own timeline, we run in our tracks. We sometimes jog or do a little walk, and that's okay. The point is that we should keep moving forward (now this sounds like quote from motivators, but damn those right) despite what people achieve. Because it is their timeline. We should really stop comparing somebody's pages with ours. But, that does not mean you are allowed to just be laid back about everything. My point is, just because somebody is succeed at your age, does not mean those who have not are the losers.
  • It is because we try so hard to fulfill people's expectations of us. Well, we do live in a place where people 'care' so much about what we have done. People around us will constantly have expectations about what we should be. We should go to college after highschool. We should graduate on time. We should have job right after graduate. We should be married once we make money. We should have kids right after the wedding. Etc etc. It won't stop. And maybe not many people understand, or even realize, that those expectations are the ones that burden us a lot. And the weight will slowly become something that stand between us and our true goals. So believe me, just close your ears tightly when they start to blab about what you should be. You owe nothing to them, so they are not the ones who should decide what and when you should be. If what you are doing are making you happy, then carry on.
  • It is because we think our life is only about goals. I recently see a video about why people often feel frustated about not reaching their goals. In that video, he explains that it is mostly because we often become too obsessed with the goals that we are getting stressed over the obstacles that we cannot control. Yes, goals are made so we can be focused to our destination. Goals are made so we are kept in the 'right' line. But once we already on the path, why we care so much about the goals that we forget to enjoy the journey? Life itself is a 'trip' that we take, so I think what's important is that we always, always enjoy the ride


Okay, I think those three points are enough. I myself often feel like I am lost and useless (especially during pms, because.. hormones) but trust me, if we are in constant worries of not having it all together, we might actually waste our time. We ARE in the best time of our life, make a use of it. Be happy about it, and most importantly, be present in every moment.
And someday, maybe soon, you will finally arrive at your destination. Safe and sound :)

See ya!
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