picture taken from google image

Hi, folks? Have been missed me? Lol, I wish.

Actually I'm no longer a person who blab so much about my personal life in details, but I've got plenty free time (which is rare) so I decided to write, and this thing is the first thing that popped up in my mind. I want to write about.. not love, but commitment. Maybe many people have wrote about this, so there are points of view, but I just wanna share my own opinions about it.

Well, I've been spending these few months working on a full time job called relationship. Yea, if you have read my previous posts labeled 'K', it's full of lovey-dovey that sometimes me myself thought 'why the hell did I write that? It's embarrassing', lol but I've written it anyway. It feels nice yet funny that I finally reached that phase to move on from my previous sunken-relationship and begin a completely new one, with a whole new person. I have to admit that it was not an easy decision to eventually agree settling to a person when you had your heart broken quite bad.

Just cut to the case, from these past months, I've got a lot of lessons from my relationship about what they-and-I called commitment.

1. Commitment is a big thing. It's not simple, it never is. It's not like I like you and you like me so we should be together. It is waay more than that. I thought and thought and thought before I agreed to commit, because c'mon, this is no longer chase and run game. When you think you want to commit, sure there are several questions bugging your mind. Yes, you might like him/her? But is it true that he/her is the only one that you want? And you need? And if so, would you also want him/her in the future? So yes, there's a lot to ask.

2. Commitment is serious business. Commitment means getting attached, and most relationship is just 'being with and spending' but not attaching (doesn't mean you have to be overly attaching gf/bf). This is why on some relationships, when a person has to be apart from his/her gf/bf, they start to see other people. They start to compare and then slowly replace. So, no, in my honest opinion, not all relationship are commitments. I personally think commitment is when you both agreed to always have each other even when you can't physically be with each other. That's a deal and you have to keep it by pouring enough faith for it to succeed.

3. Commitment is tiring. Yes, it is. Of course in other side it's a happy beautiful thing, but you have to face the fact that it cannot always work the way you want. You would always meet the bumps, get lost in the rough patch, and sometimes feel you want to give up but you won't. It is exhausting, and overwhelming, but you willingly try and try and try and believe there is always a light in the end of the tunnel.

4. The last, commitment is not a game you have to win. But if you fail it, you might lose it.

To make it short, commitment is something that makes me feel his presence, when he's not there. Commitment is even when I know there's a lot of men that waay much better than him, I would always prefer him to anyone else in the end. It is something that makes me going through so much level of understanding that even though we cannot always be with and see each other, I would always stick myself to him and believe that he would do the same.
Commitment is something that keep us, even thought most of time it's hard for us to spend time together, talk with each other, or even send few messages, because we both busy as hell (sometimes he's home at 1 or 4 in the dawn, imagine that), but screw with it, we're gonna spend most of our time together anyway, later in the future (in syaa Allah). And if it what it takes to be with each other, then we'll surely do the best we can do to keep it going.

So yeah, that's all my big picture of what commitment is like. Sure it's not always true, and feel free not to agree with me. But it is what I know and learn, from what I've been through.

And if there is a question such as "why commit?"
Well at some point of your life, you have to. That's why.
.. that's when my cornea catches the first glimpse of you. My retina absorbs the lights of you, turns them into impulses that run through my optical nerves to my brain. It stimulates my hypothalamus to secrete serotonines that makes me happy. That's when my sympathetic nerves activated; produces adrenalines that burst to my blood. It explains why my heart trembles and my pupils get wider. My fingers and my feet are chilled cause my blood vessels are got constricted.

Basically.. many things happened when I see you. You won't know cause the only visible response that I do when I see you is..
my seventh cranial nerve's got contracted-
so it puts smile. In my face.

when I see you..

by on 8:01:00 AM
.. that's when my cornea catches the first glimpse of you. My retina absorbs the lights of you, turns them into impulses that run throu...