temporary feelings

"Sunday morning, rain is falling
Steal some covers, share some skin"

ahh i dont know why i choose this song. its late in the afternoon now, its not raining here, its not even sunday yet. but this song plays in my mind. continuously. repeatedly.

i love maroon 5, but i really hate this song. this song is somehow blue. it makes me thinking about the past i barely had, and the future i hardly have.

now im feeling empty. i dont know how to feel, i dont know what im supposed to say or do. your absence costs me this much. i think im bluer than blue.


"Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
You twist to fit the mold that I am in"


i know im moved on. i dont feel you anymore. youre not even in my mind, but you leave me scars. the scars that make scared. i admit it im scared. im scared to feel. im scared to expect. im scared to hold the future, im scared to dream about someone anymore. and yeah i know you're not the one to blame, but i want you to know that im scared..


"But things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you
That someday it would lead me back to you"


my life is almost perfect. i have these amazing people around me, people who love me for who i am. people who want to stay, people who choose me. people whom you are not.but ever since you left, im broken. im not who i was. eventho im not in pieces anymore, but i can never be the same. no i will never be the same..


"That may be all I need
In darkness, she is all I see
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave"


and dont you think i never try to replace you. dont you think i never to try to start over things, create new memories to kill ours, dont you ever think..


"Fingers trace your every outline
Paint a picture with my hands
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Change the weather still together when it ends"


cause in the end i always crawling back to you, to our memories, crying for losing you, for not be able to loving any other person the way i did to you, for the chance you never gave to me, for the difference we made after the separation, for the moments that permanently gone, for the heart that i dont know where to belong..


"But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
Sunday morning rain is falling and I'm calling out to you
Singing sunday it'll bring me back to you
Find a way to bring myself back home to you"


ahh i know this is stupid. you dont even remember me anymore. my presence gave you nothing. im just unimportant part of your life you can easily forget. and replaced. i wish you know im haunted..


"sunday morning rain is falling..."
 (maroon 5 - sunday morning )



ps. i hope rain brings me something. i dont have umbrella.